Since I like my site to be one filled with more than just reviews and practical advice, I thought I’d share my thoughts on motherhood. I want to preface this by saying I wouldn’t trade my kids for the world, but there are days I miss being childless. There are also days I miss when my kids were babies. I think most mothers will be able to relate to this, unless they've had or are having nannies raise their kids.
Most women dream of having children. Some spend countless hours thinking about how many children to have, what to name them, what they will look like, and how wonderful it will be when their adorable little ones run up to them and say “Mommy, I love you.” When encountering mothers with their children, many motherless women feel envy because they wish it was them. In short, they focus on all the positive aspects of motherhood, never contemplating there could be any negatives whatsoever.
What these women fail to realize is motherhood is a full-time job. Most mothers love their children more than anything in the world and would die for their children, but there are days when even the most patient and loving woman wants to tear her hair out of head from aggravation. When you and your spouse have to be up for work in the morning and your beautiful little baby won’t stop crying or refuses to sleep at night, then the problem of sleep deprivation can arise.
If you’re a stay-at-home mom, then it’s no big deal, you can sleep when the baby eventually tires out, but what if you have other children who aren’t school-aged yet? Obviously, that means no mid-afternoon naps. In the early years of your child or children’s lives, most women just take it day by day. Babies and toddlers require constant attention and it can be draining. Some women pray for the strength to make it through every day in one piece, collapsing into their beds at night from exhaustion.
Going anywhere with a young child can be a herculean feat in itself. It’s not as easy as just jumping in the car and driving to your destination. Diaper bags are necessary on each and every trip and they must be stuffed with diapers, a changing pad, change of clothes (in case of any accidents), any food or bottles (should the baby get hungry or thirsty), and toys to keep the baby occupied on the car trip. Of course, let’s not forget the stroller, because if you don’t have that, you’re going to be carrying the baby all day. If you’re going on vacation for any length of time, then be prepared to be loaded down with baby stuff.
Once your children are out of diapers and don’t need to be in a stroller anymore, one would think it gets easier. In some respects in does and in others, the situation only gets worse. When children are old enough to hold conversations, they will use their language, sometimes non-stop. This is when the talking back starts to happen. When children discover the word no, they will use it to voice their displeasure. When you’re trying to talk to someone on the phone and they want your attention, you’ll learn your days of peaceful conversations are over.
Some days, mothers can get so overwhelmed they will cry from the stress of it all. There’s the lack of privacy, because young children always want to be where you are. Plus they need to be watched constantly. Even going to the bathroom can pose a problem. Your little ones have to be placed somewhere they will be safe from harm. In addition to protecting your children, there’s always the fear in the back of your head that something horrible will happen to them. Some mothers describe it as feeling like their heart is on the outside of their body.
Most mothers don’t like to share their frustrations, because they don’t want people to judge them. After all, they decided to have children and it’s their responsibility to take care of whatever children they are blessed to have. Motherhood is a sacrifice, a woman has to let go of the person she was. It changes every woman it touches. It has to, so she can be strong enough to be responsible for the well-being of her children. She has put their needs first ahead of everything else.
The truth about motherhood is that it’s the most difficult job on the planet. Children don’t come with instructions. They won’t always listen when you tell them something, they are guaranteed to throw tantrums in public places, they will learn what buttons to push to try and push you over the edge, you’ll be forced to play referee time and again against warring siblings, and if your children don’t have easygoing personalities, they will fight you regarding every decision you make for them, and this is years before they’re teenagers.
Once a woman becomes a mother, she will never truly have a peaceful night’s sleep again. The freedom to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants is gone, because she has children to answer to. She must concentrate on being there whenever she’s needed, no excuses. Try taking care of a small child or children when you’re sick yourself and all you want to do is have someone take care of you. There’s plenty of joy that comes with raising children, but not to admit there are hardships is unrealistic.